I had complete confidence that shifting my counseling to prioritize intuitive eating over strict “clean” eating would benefit my clients — but I had no idea how profoundly it would change my own life.
Let’s take a moment to talk about self-care.
I emphasize self-care with my clients constantly because the dieting industry, built on strict rules and control, is the opposite of the non-diet approach I teach. That approach is grounded in self-compassion. You cannot build a healthy relationship with food without strengthening your relationship with yourself.
Self-care looks different for everyone. For me, it’s waking to birdsong and walking to a coffee shop with my boyfriend for snickerdoodle coffee and a blueberry muffin. It’s going on a hike with my best friend and leaving my phone in my bag. It’s choosing to live the life I want, not the life I think I should have.
Self-care includes the small moments that quiet your mind and warm your heart — those little experiences that make you think, “Wow, this is so amazing.”
Beyond self-care, a big focus of my work is helping people abandon the all-or-nothing mindset. Eating “perfectly” for weeks can lead to a binge cycle of weeks of overindulgence and then shame. That pattern wrecks self-esteem. We practice not only eating intuitively, but also resting, moving, and living intuitively. Allowing flexibility in food choices — ordering the taco in the shell you actually want instead of piling on extra greens — teaches you how to satisfy your soul with simple pleasures.
Movement is a great example. Waking up at 5 a.m. to hit the gym may suit some people, but rigid routines can be harmful for others. Some days you have more energy, other days less. Honoring movement preferences is the same as honoring food cravings. If you don’t wake up craving peanut butter and banana toast every morning, you probably won’t thrive on a rigid gym schedule either.
Over time I stopped asking restaurants to remove cheese or bread when I knew those elements would make the meal genuinely enjoyable. I stopped ordering what I thought I should eat and started ordering what I truly wanted. And you know what happened?
I felt full — in a much deeper sense than physical satiety. I began to love myself more. Where I once felt pride for eating “perfectly” all day, I now feel proud when I follow desire and have dessert after dinner. My clothes may fit a bit tighter than before, but that’s only because extreme restriction had pushed me below my natural set point. I don’t want to maintain a weight that forces me to sacrifice living. I want to be me.
As a result, I’m much happier and more satisfied across my life. I don’t know my exact weight — I can’t remember the last time I stepped on a scale. I reached a point where I genuinely had no desire to weigh myself. Previously, the scale produced quick emotional reactions: a few pounds up would trigger panic and punishment thoughts; a few pounds down would also come with guilt for “taking up less space.”
Leaving the scale behind was not easy. It was uncomfortable and unfamiliar. But it was necessary. I realized I needed to practice what I preach. Obsession with numbers — whether weight, calories, or macros — undermines intuitive eating. You cannot tune into your hunger cues when your goal is to hit a specific number.
I remember a client who struggled to find her natural weight. She would practice intuitive eating and begin to feel confident, only to collapse emotionally after weighing herself. If the number was higher than expected, she’d give up and binge. If it was lower, she’d also binge — sometimes from relief, sometimes from the compulsion to maintain that lower number. She was letting an external number dictate her eating instead of listening to her body. Bodies don’t crave a calorie count; they crave food, comfort, and nourishment.
Once I embraced choices like Nutella pancake bites at brunch instead of a bland oatmeal I didn’t want, I experienced a profound sense of freedom. That satisfaction spilled over into other areas of life. I began to live more intuitively: if my heart wanted nature on a Saturday and my brain wanted to schedule content, I went hiking. If my heart wanted to binge-watch a show and order pizza while my brain wanted to do chores, I allowed myself the rest and the pizza.
Food became the gateway to noticing where else I was rigid or harsh with myself. It’s still a work in progress, but I’m actively addressing those patterns.
I owe a lot of this growth to my clients. For a long time I felt like a fraud if I didn’t embody intuitive eating in every aspect of my life. Now I can honestly say I do. When the old voice urges me to choose a smoothie I don’t truly want, the new voice gets excited about sharing the best blueberry scone with a friend. I choose delight over deprivation. That choice isn’t pleasure at the expense of health — it is health. Happiness and well-being are deeply connected.
There are plenty of days I choose salads, smoothies, and movement because I enjoy them. There’s no need for extremes. Living without rigidity feels balanced and sustainable.
Old critical voices still pop up sometimes, and I don’t pretend they don’t. I’m not ashamed of my past — it taught me a tremendous amount. Teaching others how to honor hunger rather than silence it has been one of my greatest lessons.
My hope for clients is that one day they will simply be — to feel free from boxes and rules. Every moment spent living inside that box is a moment lost. Once you set yourself free, life becomes exponentially more joyful. I can’t wait for more people to experience that freedom.